results are gonna be out this friday.
somehow i don't feel a thing, cause it's either you make it, or you don't.
heh. this reminds me of an irritating person on msn who demoralizes me (used to) whenever i signed in to msn.
'if your results very lousy, if you get DDD, then go jc for what? might as well go poly, or blahblahblah...ya you so stupid...ya i'm right blahblahblah...'
*block contact!*




anyway, mus'art practices are so..............
arghh. stressful.
those pro guys they have their own stick bag full of mallets and they make steven's grip look so easy! dammit!
and my sightreading...it's horrendous, dunno what to say...
can't even get simple stuff correct, rhythm so unsteady, roll so stiff, can't even play the chimes, can't even do french grip, can't even get simple burton grip correct, got put down by him (!!!), can't even play the crash omg!
am i even a percussionist???




haizzzzzz.
the last thing on my mind is to spend my hard-earned money on food.
i don't eat proper and regular meals during climbingmountain-ing.
changing my bad habits but it takes time cause i've always had the perception that food expenditure = burning $$$. especially if its hard-earned, especially if the food isn't up to standard and is like damn ex!
go be an icewoman la.
really not looking forward to it!!!!!!






there are like tiny little ailments in every part of me.
eyes. my eyesight its worsening, my right eye it's no longer perfect and i can't read scores without straining, badly. i need to wear my glasses and i'll look super horrible and ugly and aunty in them.
nose. the skin on my nose is soooooo sensitive i can't use any facial wash cause it'll peel and i'll look super disfigured. gentle, mild baby wipes + hazeline moisturizer are the only solution.
mouth. my gums bleed every now and then i brush my teeth. and it's like, my whole mouth will be filled with red toothpaste, imagine that?
lips. another irritating thing. i get dry and chapped lips that look like frankenstein's whenever i'm in a cold environment for too long. definition of long = 1 hour. so i always have to apply and reapply lip moisturizer. and the problem is, because of my forgetfulness, i keep losing them! not say it's very cheap lorrr. dammit!
face. dunno how many freaking pimples. incurable.
hair. split ends, protein-less strands, spoilt, clump-like hay.
ear. i am hard of hearing. i need to get ear plugs. i need to do an audiometry test. sometimes i just can't make out what people are saying and to avoid embarassment, i just nod and smile which is like urgghh, so fake.
ankles. creak/crack(?) with every step up the stairs.
left leg. excruciatingly pain sudden muscle cramps in the middle of the night that leave me wailing like a baby.






work has probably changed me for the better.
but perfectionism is still in the way.
well at least i'm not that paranoid about handling money now, and i don't care that much anymore about hygiene.
that's a good sign, considering that i used to wash my hands after touching every foreign object, every coin or dollar note.
don't wanna be such a perfectionist!
don't wanna straighten bloody leaflets even when i'm in a rush!






it's 11.51pm and i was supposed to study but i ended up complaining about this and that.
hah. i think i feel better after letting out my thoughts.
probably going ntu, nus and smu open house with kerwoy.
arghhh. university admission.
why must we study?
(such an immature question)







work tomorrow!
i wanna reach store at 8.15!!!!!!!
i have to get up at 7.30!!!!!!!!







hmm hmm tomorrow tomorrow???